Friday, January 29, 2010

My Turn....

...for puking. That is what I did most of the night Wednesday, and most of the day yesterday. Seriously, is there anything worse than vomiting? Really? I didn't think so.
Feeling better today, still a little nauseated I think, but that could just be that my tummy is so empty it's making me sick and I need to eat something. I can't tell, and I'm scared to test it out. Yes, when it comes to up-chucking, I'm a total sissy. Still have my cough, but that seems to be getting better, at least.
And I won my battles of the day before yesterday. That's right; I am--
The Almighty Liz.
ETA: I forgot the good news! I'm an Aunt once again. My brother, Logan, and his wife welcomed a little boy into the world yesterday at 6:20pm their time (7:20pm mine), who weighed 8lbs and was 20 inches long. His name is Gavin James Bryan. Welcome to the world, little man!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Breaking Point

Okay, really, how bad is murder? On a scale of 1-10? What if I make it quick and painless? They wouldn't even know something was coming. They'd just be sitting on their lazy butts, like usual, and then nothing. That's not too horrible, right? Like maybe a 5, or a 6? C'mon, gimme a 6, I think I can live with that....
The Almighty (and FURIOUS) Liz
ETA: I am so mad at this point I could literally spit nails. I'm surprised smoke isn't coming out of my ears, and my hair isn't on fire. *Liz lets loose with bestial scream*

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Yet Another Closing Date

I know I promised you guys updates on my awesome weekend, but I'm still sick, and don't feel like it yet. Soon, though!
I just wanted to hop on and let you know that our closing date for this weekend has fallen through yet again. The new date is February 12th. I got my way! *Liz laughs with maniacal glee whilst rubbing her hands together sinisterly*
The Almighty Liz

Monday, January 25, 2010

Wellness Spree Even MORE Over

Okay, I had a GREAT weekend for the most part, but I will post about that later as I am on my deathbed. Just kidding, I've definitely been way worse, but just as definitely, I'm miserable. Although not as bad as John. I woke up this morning to the dulcet tones of John puking up even the memory of food. He also has a wicked cough and a fever. Poor guy. He's basically slept all day, as have the kids and I. I have a horrid cough too, and sound like a thirteen year old boy--deep but my voice cracks on every other word. Erik has a less delicate, we-do-not-discuss-it-at-the-table kind of thing, and Jonni seems to be holding her own, actually. She'll be going to school tomorrow unless something changes. I got a call from our contractor for our superfluous house, and he got all the work done this last weekend. If we pass inspection tomorrow, then we will close on Friday. With all of us sick, this is going to be a very interesting week. Oi.
The Almighty (but somewhat less-than today) Liz

Friday, January 22, 2010

Wellness Spree Over

After four weeks and a day, I woke up sick this morning. Nothing unmanageable, I've most decidedly been worse, but I do feel like crap. Just in time for an activities-there's-no-way-I-can-miss-let-alone-get-out-of packed weekend! Huzzah! (much sarcasm on that 'huzzah')
The Almighty Liz

Thursday, January 21, 2010

John's Turn

John is sick now. Poor guy. He hardly ever, and I mean the rarities of all rarities, gets sick, and just doesn't know how to handle it when he does. It's kind of funny. Thank goodness I'm well (four weeks and a day!!) or we'd be a really pathetic pair.
The Almighty Liz

Wednesday, January 20, 2010


Why do I think it's rude when the mail truck sails on by my mailbox? I mean, I know they only do that when there's no mail to deliver, and it's nothing personal. Yet, I always feel violently excluded, like I did something wrong in the mailpeople's eyes, and are being punished for it. No mail for you today!! Mwahahahahahaaaa!!
The Almighty Liz

Monday, January 18, 2010

Good Days....Finally!

No disasters for two days in a row. Today better follow suit!
The Almighty Liz

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Let Us All Take a Deeeeep Breath

The basement is no longer toe deep in water, and it has a guarantee, so if it happens tomorrow, I can call Roto Rooter, and they will come fix it again.
I'm still not sure if the couch, the entire couch that my cat peed on can be saved, but I've worked on it all day, and we'll see after it dries.
I talked to my realtor today, and was majorly proud of myself for not crying and/or screaming at her, but instead maintained an extremely professional facade, which if you weren't my stupid realtor, would know that was a very covert and large scale insult. I'm friendly, never so polite you can break icicles off my body. The contractor will start work in a few days, weather permitting, so they can have their stupid closing date by the end of January. If God loves me at all, he will dump loads of snow on Peoria, so that the roof and gutters can't get done, which means we won't be able to close until at least February, and my buyers will loose their interest rate, which is only good until the end of this month. I used the same cool professional attitude with the phone call to my renter/buyers. I'm no longer their friend. I am their landlady, and if they don't realize what a humongous loss that is, then rest assured that I have already realized that I don't need people that stupid in my life.
I found a cleaners that can do leather, because the couch was not the only casualty in the cat peeing fiasco, and it's not going to cost an arm and a leg like I thought.
I probably finally found babysitters for this Saturday, so I can be there when my brother-in-law receives his endowments, (Mormon thing, for you friends out there that are bewildered as to what that means), but my kids can still do the fun things (like a birthday party) that they wanted to do. I think that at this point I really really really really need to go to the Temple.
I am done for the day. DONE. Where's my hot tub....?
The Almighty Liz

And Now for Something Completely Different

So, you guys can take my shiny happy posts of the last few days and just flush them down the toilet. Speaking of, it looks like Erik has discovered the joy of flushing, and though he didn't cause the first clog that flooded our basement on Monday, he did cause the second one that flooded it again last night. In other news, the house situation has turned into (more of) a nightmare. I got a phone call from my realtor last night that informed me that since I was a lazy good for nothing, and had bungled this whole thing from the beginning, and since everything that has gone wrong was ALL MY FAULT, she has had to step in and fix everything for me, so she hired a construction guy to fix the problems that need fixing before we can pass inspection, WITHOUT EVEN MENTIONING IT TO ME, he would start on Thursday, and his fee would be to the tune of $1800. Also, we ARE closing by the end of the month, whether we like it or not, or we can kiss her goodbye, and when the deal is done, we are not to contact her ever again, for anything. She, her words, has lost trust in us, all faith, and all charity. (I would just like to inform all that I didn't lie down for that, I told her I was working on a solution from my end that was possibly cheaper, and I would call her in the morning with my decision. I'm not the doormat I used to be, and nobody pushes this broad around anymore) After I got over the breakdown that phone call caused, I called our renters to negotiate splitting the cost of the repairs with them. (whether we went with my guy or my realtor's) She told me that this was all my fault, it was my house, and that she wasn't going to pitch in a penny for anything. She hated to be that person, but she didn't have any money, so that was the person she was going to be. And then she said, but don't worry, we'll get through it together. What the #$%&?! At any rate, this on TOP of the fact that my dad just had surgery on Monday, (which went very well, I'm told, thank goodness), and that my mother in law fell and broke her wrist and pretty severely hurt her hip by slipping on the ice late last week, and our basement, I am now a hot mess, and ready to shake the dust of Peoria and it's people from my feet.
Okay, now that I've vented, I need to go figure out how to fix my basement.
The Almighty and Unconquerable Liz

Monday, January 11, 2010

Mish Mash

Have you ever worked one of those claw machines? You know, the ones where you put in a couple of quarters, and try to maneuver the dangling claw over a toy, then let it drop and see if the claw will catch the toy? I have never met anyone who actually succeeded in getting one of those toys. They are always packed too hard for that wimpy claw to pick anything up. Well, Jonni and I were out running errands on Saturday, and we stopped at Steak 'n' Shake for lunch. (her very favorite) They had one of those machines, and Jonni was really good, and I happen to have a couple of quarters (rare), so we had a go. She put in the quarters, but wanted me to work the claw. AND I GOT ONE! I got a medium sized stuffed dog with little red hearts all over!! Can you believe it? Jonni was ecstatic with her dog, and now you know somebody who's gotten a prize from a claw machine!
Also on Saturday, Jonni started her first extra-curricular activity. We got a certificate for a business called the Education Station for 10 free weeks. It's kind of a supplementary type thing for gifted kids. Jonni qualified (about time she qualified for something!!), so we decided to give it a shot. Jonni had a freakin' blast, and can't wait to go back this Saturday.
We gave the kids capes for Christmas, and Erik is wearing one of his almost non-stop. He has dubbed himself Super Erik, and refuses to answer to anything else whilst the cape is on. It's hilarious.
I can't find my snow boots. I've been looking since around Thanksgiving time, I've turned my house upside down at least eight times, and they are nowhere. I mean, the house isn't that big. There are a limited number of places big snow boots can hide, but just in case, I even looked in the places they couldn't hide. No luck, and, as it is snowy outside, and I loathe cold wet feet (which is why I have snow boots in the first place), I decided to admit defeat and go buy new ones. I went everywhere there is to look in the closest town near mine, since mine town is eensy weensy and doesn't have a shoe store, (and yes, I'm not naming anything around me on purpose. take THAT you trollers!), and most didn't have any, and the ones that did, didn't have anything even remotely close to my size. The last place I looked in the big town was a hardware/feed store type place. No luck. They had some, but not my size. So I headed home (my feet, by the way, at this point were wet and totally frozen), dropped of my patient (ha!) and tired daughter, and went to the last place anywhere close to me that might have what I was looking for--the feed store right around the corner from us. And, *drumroll*, they had some! In my size! Oh, the irony! Only one pair though. The last pair in my size anywhere within a half an hour of my home. I snatched those up, and threatened to kiss the sales ladies that helped me out. They giggled and said they'd rather be kissed then hit, which is the usual reaction, apparently. The boots are perfect. Waterproof, fully lined, and they have an additional removable insert. Ah, bliss! Warm feet at last!
The Almighty Liz

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

The New Year So Far

So, this year has started out well indeed. Now, I am NOT jinxing myself in saying that since it started well, it will stay that way. I am simply savoring this fact. I've been well for two weeks today, people! That's a new record. Jonni started some new math and reading programs at school (because her teacher is the freaking coolest, so since Jonni couldn't be in the gifted programs, then she stepped up and tailored a new schedule to fit Jonni), Erik is making some breakthroughs with potty training, (we're not there yet, but we're closer), John's work loves him, and we are getting closer to getting rid of our Peoria house. (we have had some setbacks there, like we were supposed to close this week, but now it's in the air, and we don't know exactly when we close, but at least our renters are still paying rent and still want to buy the house even after they've lived in it for eight months or so) All in all, I'll take it!
The Almighty Liz